Thinking About You
My blood boiled and toes curled a beauty to behold. Her smile, oooh laawd! (In Anderson Paak’s Voice) Was well complimented by her chick bones, wait. Her smile and chick bones complimented each other so well; the sunken flaps on her collar bones can save enough water to quench the panting deer in desert, her yellow floral dress lay gently on her curves, I am an ass guy so this is my most favourite part. I was going to shoot my shot!
“You got something on your tooth, I guess it’s your lipstick”, I went all in. Of course I had to nag her first, perhaps it was the easiest way to break a conversation and make her feel nervous. It worked!! She reached out to handkerchief and nervously tried to clear her teeth; she was tempted to floss her teeth, back then before flossing became a dance. “Thank you; hope it’s all clear now, right?’ ’she smiled. “It’s all clear, I just wanted to see how beautiful you look when nervous, there was nothing on your teeth.’’ I said. I couldn’t believe my first move worked!!! Come on guys... This is the part where you all cheer and clap for the man of the moment! And be like yeah… that was a smooth move.
Coffee dates, beach picnics, road trips… Endless phone conversations. Hahaha like no one even wanted to hang up. We would finish each other’s sentences, reviewing books; discussing our favourite tv shows… I swear cupid hit us both this time around. We perfectly fitted in this bubble that we created! It was us against the world! “Alexa” would play Westlife against the world as our official soundtrack.
Less calls, less hangout time, long gaps of silence between our conversations. “I feel like we are drifting apart”. “Drifting apart? We have already drifted!” she said without even a twitch on the face. I felt my lungs swelling, that was my heart exploding perhaps, I was hollow, the only thing I cloud feel was my heart thudding! “How can we drift? We are together, the feeling is mutual Thandi!” “the feeling is not mutual, I am not sure of what I feel for you. I need a break”.
I will fight for this, it can’t be. We are supposed to be together. I vowed. But! Fighting for someone you love is okay, fighting for someone to love you is not okay. She has fallen out, I was caught in the illusion that she loved me... I was in love, falling in love is an illusion.
I know I will heal, I will grow out of loving you. I still think about you, do you still think about me?